Ringside seats to the Faux Kings debut.


Last Saturday I saw the Faux Kings first gig, these masked men play nothing but the simplest, stupidest and most glorious music - a new style they call “wrestl’n’roll”. They hark back to the halcyon days of the 1990’s when wrestling was at it’s peak and bands like the Mummies and Thee Headcoats roamed around blasting peoples ears with trashy guitars, trashier attitudes and thee trashiest songs.

Their set was good and short, their two-chord tales of wrestling prowess and luscious-limbed-luchadoras mixed in with a few frat-rock staples and most appropriately ended with the greatest song ever written about wrestling, ‘The Crusher’. 

I tried to catch the lead singer for an interview after the gig but they had disappeared so we’re still in the dark about where they’re coming from. I guess wrestlers have to have a hobby too, eh?


Review: The Bonnevilles - Folk Art and the Death Of Electric Jesus (Twenty Stone Blatt)

The Bonnevilles are a band close to my heart. The first gig I ever booked myself was above an aul lads boozer in Rathgar called The 108, a real shithole, and the Bonnevilles were gracious enough to come down and play it on the promise of ‘hopefully we’ll make some money on the door’. They are true believers and they have been dragging themselves and their two man wrecking machine all over this world spreading their punk blues gospel for many years.

This, their second album, sounds like the fruit of their labours. Their first was record was recorded on cassette, all screaming lo-fi hellfire and hoodoo. ‘Folk Art and the Death Of Electric Jesus’ is the sound of a band that has matured over the years, it is the sound of a band that have been lifting copies of the bible in a dark corner for months and are about to pull your head right off your neck.

The Bonnevilles are Hound Dog Taylor and RL Burnside using Black Sabbath’s equipment. They are also Andy McGibbon and Christopher McMullan, respectively a deeply soulful vocalist, delta surfing guitarist and powerhouse drumming man-mountain.

Recorded with producer/engineer Walter D’Goon, the record is clearer than their debut effort, not a single cassette was bothered in the making, but their latest offering has heaps more heft and power. The songs are still raw as a flung egg but you can hear the time was put in to let them grow a little.

Opening salvo “You’re Not Alone” is a mission statement, all grinding guitars, howling vocals and thunderous drums.. but the whole album doesn’t carry on this way. A few songs in, things get a little sombre with “Kneel at the Altar Pt. 1&2” and kinda carry on along that tack for a bit which is where things get interesting.. “Separate Ways” is haunted by the not yet dead ghost of Morricone and “Hell” keeps you on edge for the duration.

The next song, ”10,000”, is my pick of the whole album It is the release from the tension of the previous songs. Things stay heavy til the last track, a thoughtful acoustic murder ballad.. yup, the Bonnevilles did an acoustic murder ballad. You heard it here first.

So there you have it, folks. The Bonnevilles do not suffer from second album syndrome.

Keep your ears peeled for song samples and that!

MFC Chicken - Music For Chicken LP (Dirty Water)

I first came across MFC Chicken playing in a dank pit in London last year, the place was hot, I was drunk and it sounded like I’d wandered into the Spanish Castle Ballroom in Seattle. They play the kind of loud, greasy, sax-driven white boy R&B that was heard in halls all over the northwest of America in the early 60’s.

I knew it would only be a matter of time before somebody scooped them up for a record..

Dirty Water got there first and ordered a platterful of deep-fried northwest raunch with a side of souped-up intros. The album opener “Chicken, Baby, Chicken” begins as it means to go on.. ‘One chicken, two chicken, one chicken, two chicken, three chicken, four chicken..’ Who needs meaningful lyrics when you’ve got Col. Spencer wailing on sax?

The whole album reeks like a Holloway Rd chicken shack of the sounds the godfathers of grind, The Sonics, would have cut their teeth on.. from the nutty instro of “Wild Safari” to the straight up Fabulous Wailers buzz “Royal We”. That’s not to say it’s derivative, MFC definitely have their own spin on it, the whole album is filled with the kind of raw humour that would make Chuck Berry blush.

There’s not much else I can say about this record other than that I fucking love it and you are going to love it too.

One million stars.





Tony Tone Vs. Thee Cormans

Trash City have put Tony Tone’s Retarded Questionnaire to So. Cal’s wildest surf suckers Thee Cormans. Here’s what their drummer, The Shaved Ape, had to say.

How did you come up with the name Thee Cormans?
I came up with it after watching Wild Angels for the 111th time.

How long has the band been together?
We have been together for 5 years now. It’s seems more like 5 months.

What was your first recording?
Our first recording was the Bitchin’ Toons single we recorded it in 20 minutes at my shop then went and got pizza.

What is your best gig so far?
That’s a tuff one cause there has been so many shitty ones. Actually they are all shitty will someone get us a good show. 

What would be your dream gig venue?
A gay leather bar in another country. Don’t ask don’t tell

What is the largest crowd that you have performed for?
We played at a fat camp once. Everyone there was pretty large.

What is your full name?
Dick Gozenya

How old are you?
Old enough to make a baby, but young enough that I don’t need diapers.

What is your birth date?
It’s the day your mother squeezes you out of her vagina. Also known as a birthday.

Where were you born?
California. My kinfolk thought Californy is the place you ought to be.

Where did you attend school?
Ya I checked it out for a bit. I learned a lot about how much people suck.

When did you begin playing music?
I played drums on the table since I was 5. I don’t think I got a drum set until I was 23.

How tall are you?

What color are your eyes?
I am told they are green, gray and blue. I try not too look in the mirror. Usually I am just seeing red.

What color is your hair?
Black like my boyfriend.

Are you a mod or a rocker?
Neither. I would be hard pressed to find two more pathetic labels. 

Who has had the greatest influence on your music?
This question is retarded. There are too many. I could get really deep and name a bunch of obscure shit or be ironic and say The Ramones. Fuck that shit, I like everything you hate and hate everything you like.

What is your desert island food?
French Fries.

What is your favorite adult beverage?
Children like adult beverages, real adults drink water. I like water. 

Who is your celebrity crush?
I hate most modern day celebrities. Joanne Woodward always sorta did it for me. Plus I wouldn’t mind being in a Paul Newman, Joanne sanwhich. Verna Miles was always hot too. 

If you could jam with any artist, living or dead, who would it be?
I don’t follow the art scene too much.

Are you in a serious relationship?
It’s anything but serious. She is always making jokes at my expense.

What is your favorite movie?
I hate favorites but Pee Wee’s Big Adventure has it all.

What is your favorite tv show?
Twilight Zone is definitely one of them.

What is your very favorite song of all time? You may only pick one.
Black Flag - Slip It In. I love the part at the end were the girl says “Let’s cum together”

What city have you played in that is the most fun?
Los Angeles has been the most fun for Thee Cormans. We just did the west coast and met a lot of cool people. We also met a bunch of dickfaces. I thought Portland was going to be a blast, but there was a bunch of high and mighty intellectual douche bags with too much Portland pride. It made me appreciate our local scene even though it’s total shit. 

Who is your biggest fan?
Mikey Ratt. He is Thee Cormans biggest fan and my personal biggest fan. He loves me more than my own mother does. It is disgusting.

If you were not a musician, what would you be?
I am not a musician at all. I can barely play drums. I would love to have a tv show where I travel around looking for strange historical places. I would try and avoid alien shit. Aliens are bogus.  

Name 5 people, living or dead who you would invite to a dinner party.
My Grandpa, Hitler, Malcolm X, Ghengis Khan, and Harvey Milk. I would let all those faggots fight while I hung out with my Grandpa Bob.

Name one talent that you have that nobody knows.
I can only wink with my right eye. 

Boxers or briefs or commando?
I recently converted to boxer briefs and they are treating me right.

What is your most favorite concert that you attended?
I saw the Go-Nuts at a Halloween block party with a few good friends. They annihilated suburbia with sugar. Totally surreal. 

If Justin Beiber were in a burning building would you try to save him?
Yes but only cause I thought he was a cute chick

If you were stranded on a desert island, what two things would you have to have?
2 fleshlights.

What is the most embarrassing moment that you have had on stage?
Everytime our bass player fucks up. Thee Cormans are a fine tuned rock n’ roll machine and sometimes he forgets that. 

How famous do you want to be?
Famous enough to pay my bills but still have people like you leaave me alone.
Saturday night. Click poster for details

Saturday night. Click poster for details


I’m putting on a gig. gonna be posting a bit about it for the next couple of weeks. here is the poster I made for it, and here is the facebook event page.


I’m putting on a gig. gonna be posting a bit about it for the next couple of weeks. here is the poster I made for it, and here is the facebook event page.




'Wanting More' Tapes Available @


Monorail Glasgow (12 Kings Court) 

Norman Records  

Big Love (Japan) 

Soft Power 

(via septembergirls)